Querk.com.au
4/8/2010 - 13:58:45 - 0 comments - By D47
I've been working on a new website for Querk Antique and Unique Furniture at http://querk.com.au. Have a look =)
 
Biding my rage
3/8/2010 - 00:26:24 - 0 comments - By D47
I feel empty and sad almost constantly. I want to meet someone and have friends. I want to be recognised and respected. I want to have something to drive me everyday. I don't know what I need.

I'm so introverted and insanely lonely I can't bear it, I'm filled with inexpressible rage and lust. I can't even express myself any way other than plain text. I feel so stupid in front of other people and at the end of every day I lie in bed and stress over every misspoken word and unintended impression I give to people. I want to be free spirited and not care about anything. I try but it cannot possibly happen.

I can't be myself anywhere. Even when I'm just walking down the street I'm self-conscious of what passer-bys are thinking. Despite this I feel so disconnected and bitter. I convince myself that I'm somewhat emotionless and to a degree I think I am. But whatever the case I'm conflicted and angry, which are emotions themselves.

There are many things for which I feel nothing where everyone else feels intensely. I very much prefer to be alone and feel chills when my phone rings, though I'm comfortable with emails. I can't participate on face-book, it wears me thin. I couldn't care less about other people and I can't see myself ever caring.

I feel that my life is so monotonous, straight-forward and simple; I want there to be no laws and barriers. I want to be free to do what I wish without consequence.

At the end of the day though; I'm glad to be me.

--

Potential employers:
Please ignore the above.
 
Improvement
4/5/2010 - 00:21:23 - 1 comments - By D47
Recently I had an interesting exchange with some people about the reason we as a species would want to surpass our current condition and improve ourselves as a whole by whatever means we can manage.

Personally I think that it is very worth our while to explore technologies that would improve our capacity to think and operate as well as to increase our lifespan as much as we would like. But there are others who are comfortable living in the current human condition and believe that any long term improvement methods will not be of any gain to the human species and the individual experience.

A point put forward against transhumanism is that we currently possess all the necessary abilities and features to live acceptably or as best as we ever could. This may be true, but any casual observer can see the current situation as far from acceptable. There is no telling how long it will take and if it will ever come to pass that our species finds itself in an organisational configuration that each individual can happily accept without expanding our own capabilities artificially. We don't know if this is the limit of our society and so we need to find the limit and shape ourselves to experience it. If this turns out to be as far as we can go than so be it, we will never know if we don't search.

I think that by improving ourselves and humanity itself; we will dramatically increase our odds of materialising such a utopia. It may even turn out that by transforming ourselves into a particular form; mere human trivialities we experience today will no longer be an issue for such an entity. It may be that it will no longer be necessary to exist in a functioning society at all if we take the right form, a singular universal gaia type organism for example.

I however don't think a utopia would be a very nice ending to humanity, a society that has reached a plateau in drive and curiosity that merely continues perpetually in the same state unchanged may as well not exist at all. If it's there or not there; what difference would it make? it doesn't interact with the universal stage at all. Much more desirable would be a continually explorative and curious existence. That would be much more acceptable, exciting and bearable than the restricted and scheduled life demanded of a utopian society. I'd rather live in a chaotic free for all than endure an enforced way of life.

I only wish that we don't stop our technological progression at this point and that we continue with the same veracity we have shown in the past; Unhindered by unfounded desires such as remaining "human". We are thought and experience, our vessel is a tool to accommodate our minds and interact physically with the world; nothing more.

I cannot simply become complacent with my current form and living condition, I find my surroundings and human form severely oppressive. My clumsy imprecise and limited mortal vessel gives me the feeling of experiencing life as if I had weights attached to all aspects of my body and mind. I think it is natural and imperative for our own enlightenment that we discover ways to lift the weights that pull us down to earth and learn to master the natural laws of our peculiar reality and spread ourselves to the utter limits. Searching for the ultimate pleasure and comfort. Just as we have been stumbling towards since we sharpened our first shards of rock.

In the face of a meaningless universe and a pointless existence; what better to do than explore, and exhaust every possible means to have fun.
 
Quine
30/1/2010 - 21:11:11 - 0 comments - By D47
My new favorite scrabble word is quine. A quine is a program that can print it's own source code. Here is a basic one I wrote just now: 

#include <stdio.h>



char *str = "#include <stdio.h>%c%cchar *str = %c%s%c;%c%cint main(void) {%c%cprintf(str, 10, 10, 34, str, 34, 10, 10, 10, 9, 10, 10);%c}%c";



int main(void) {

    printf(str, 10, 10, 34, str, 34, 10, 10, 10, 9, 10, 10);

}


This is just about the most awesome thing I've seen all week.
 
Japan and It's unbearably strong attraction
30/1/2010 - 02:36:08 - 1 comments - By D47
Honestly I don't know exactly why I love Japan so much, maybe it's just simply because it's so foreign and peculiar that it breeds fascination in people like me. Maybe it's that I glorify it too much based on the ridiculous amount of anime I watch. Maybe it is genuinely 1000x more awesome than Australia. I'll never know until I go there.

For a few years now I've been intensely absorbed in Japan and it's language that it's distracted me from my regular studies and makes me want to swap degrees. Just recently I've craved to just go there as soon as possible, verging on a spontaneous plane ticket purchase that I so desire.

I'm getting my passport renewed and plan to do another bachelor degree after my current Bachelor of IT and apply to visit Japan as an exchange student for a year. According to my universities website I will need a GPA > 5.5 to be eligible for some lucrative scholarship. That will be a huge motivator for me and I'm sure I will achieve much higher than that when the time comes just out of sheer excitement. I'm not very proactive with my current course because I don't really know what awaits me at it's completion and if it's all that exciting. Though I definitely do want to be a programmer in a tiny cubicle in the middle of a giant tower surrounded by busy people.

Apparently my oh so kind government allows me to take seven years worth of full time study and pay for it in the future when I'm allowed to cash in my monopoly money. This gives me two bachelors! but it doesn't count for anything higher, only undergraduate degrees.

My itching ambition to live in Japan was spawned by nothing in particular, it's probably totally arbitrary. I wouldn't be surprised to know that Japan just happened to be a foreign country I took interest in from a group of so many other countries that I could love just as much. I find myself getting so bored of the mundaneity (should be a real word) of every day Australian life and reading countless Japan travel journals written by other travelers.

When I go to Japan I'm definitely going to write a journal, I'll post it all right here on this website and it will contain many pictures and countless comments about glorified quirks of Japan and it's people. I'll even throw in the obligatory "Back at home you just don't see this.". Just watch me!
 

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