Life is lame
19/8/2009 - 18:00:19 - 3 comments - By D47
In life nothing exciting ever happens, nothing truly exciting anyway. I go through some levels of excitement but it always turns out to be not so great. Each moment I decide whether I want to go back to bed or not, to retreat into my room and watch some lame video until I forget that I have to do something tomorrow.

There are no great memories, just the memories that people decide were good for me, I really don't give them any special meaning other than their face value. I look forward to the future only if it means being past a mundane situation. It's like trudging through deep mud and not even knowing if its worth getting to the end.

It's so difficult making any meaningful friendships with people when I constantly judge everybody and fear of being judged myself. It's not something I do on purpose, I don't know how it happens, it's automatic I guess. When you walk passed a retard you think "There's a retard!", am I right? extreme example but it's the same.

And so everything is just boring, lame and unrelenting. There isn't much to look forward to, there isn't much to enjoy in the present and the past isn't part of the equation. I don't think depression can be cured, I think that its just a realisation of the world and human society, a state of mind that sees the world for what it is. To be happy is to be ignorant. Stop smiling, it's making me uncomfortable.
 
BlazerKnight (guest) (27/8/2009 - 22:08:09)
I agree, after I realized that happiness was a state of chemical reactions in my nervous system, it ceased to mean anything to me. I sometimes wonder why I even get out of bed in the mornings. Maybe ignorance really is bliss. Or perhaps even oblivion...
 
Mr R (guest) (31/8/2009 - 22:38:10)
So, pointless as it may be, why not just do anything and everything that makes you happy? Whats the point doing anything else?
 
D47 (1/9/2009 - 00:28:24)
To take the day off work and go to a shopping centre, run over a few people on my way, rape a girl or two, spending all my money on whatever I wanted, get drunk, do dunk person things would be fun but it would ruin my life. It's like spending my whole life on one day, in the long run it would be a very bad decision.

And even a day like that isn't very good, it's the best kind of day that I could make for myself and it sucks. A great day is unachievable for me. Every day is just postponing happiness, because if I have it now it won't last long.

There is nothing that could make me happy and maintain my stable life at the same time. To be successful I have to take life on the chin and die from the blow.
 
 
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